About

My name is Miffy Hoad.  I live and work in Co Donegal. My given name is Martha but I’ve never been able to shake my nickname ‘Miffy’!

My work and interests are varied – I am a Mother, Grandmother and Partner. I wear numerous ‘hats’ in my work: Social Prescribing Coordinator; Mindfulness Tutor; Stress Management & Personal Development Facilitator; Life Coach & Reiki Therapist.  I am a walker and lover of nature, a musician & singer/song writer, a dog lover and serial dog rescuer. I love gardening and my polytunell. I am committed to empowerment for myself & others. I practice yoga & meditation. And among many other things I like to write.

I have a desire to honor, nurture & expose as many of my dimensions as I can. This is the motivation behind my arrival on the ‘Blogging’ scene.

Recent Posts

Perspective – A personal view.

Dictionary result for perspective

/pəˈspɛktɪv/
noun
  1. 1.
    the art of representing three-dimensional objects on a two-dimensional surface so as to give the right impression of their height, width, depth, and position in relation to each other.
    “the theory and practice of perspective”
  2. 2.
    a particular attitude towards or way of regarding something; a point of view.
    “most guidebook history is written from the editor’s perspective”
    synonyms: outlookviewviewpointpoint of viewstandpointpositionstandstanceangleslantattitude, frame of mind, frame of referenceapproach, way of looking/thinking, vantage point, interpretation

    “her perspective on everything had been changing”

Today Facebook asked me what’s on my mind and I heard myself reply, “Perspective! That’s what’s on my mind”, and then I went for a lovely walk in the woods.

What the shores of the Atlantic did for me when I lived in Donegal, the woodlands of Monaghan – Rossmore Park especially, does for me now since relocating to the North East, renewing, grounding and centering me. The first time walking there, I had no idea of it’s magnitude and each return, there is more to discover and new perspectives emerge as my mind maps the place, linking the lanes, paths and loops that stitch it all together. The ‘aha’ moments when I round a corner and discover a familiar bit of path that I had walked from the other direction a time before, making sense of the forest trails and junctions with their potential for mystery or revelation, depending on my approach.

My father was a landscape artist. He knew perspective intimately. I was fascinated by his ability to place paint on a canvas and give the viewer vertigo! As he aged, he adjusted his stance to acknowledge and validate my experience as something different to his own. This ability is the basis for empathy – ‘standing in another person’s shoes’. He said sorry and he meant it.

Recently the ‘tags’ have been plentiful in various social media posts relating to a television documentary about my Mother’s chosen lifestyle – ‘off the grid at 80 yrs’! It sticks to me and I don’t know what to say!

From the outside looking in, people are impressed, inspired and curious about this woman. I am reminded of perspective – that perspective is subjective and influenced by experience. I am forced to examine my point of view in order to overcome the inner struggle – the impulse to shout about my point of view versus the desire to learn, grow, develop. I am saddened that a lifestyle that supports ecology and sustainability doesn’t support close relationships or sustain family connections. I mourn for what isn’t.

For some, my Mother’s ‘straight talking’ is refreshing. For me it’s an emotional holocaust. Even stepping back to see it from another point of view….. Perspective – Frame of Reference – Stance!

Eccentricity sometimes exudes a charm that can inspire or even seduce others. I struggle to be impartial having grown up in an autocratic, dogmatic & eccentric environment and the mother/daughter relationship dynamic that ensued. Having spent a lot of my adult life trying to reconcile our differences, making efforts to accept and even emulate her to gain her approval, and painfully discovering the futility of aligning myself with a perspective that wasn’t my own.

I witness friends who miss their mothers and I question my own stance!

Estrangement has been a theme in my family through out the generations. Like Joni Mitchel and her ‘Clouds’, I’ve witnessed it from both sides. Estrangement from my mother is a deliberate and considered choice; a choice rooted in self-care; borne from my ‘stand point’; ‘frame of reference’. For now I maintain this choice while I continue to work on accepting that my point of view needs to be my own and that others have their own, equally valid stand point.

The woods allow me the space to ‘walk it off’ and reveal that perspective depends on ‘where you’re coming from’ and the slant of the light determines how the shadows fall.

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